One Last Sicknote - written by Simon Stapleton

Whatever I do now I'll still be behind,
I can only get to the end with
Someone else's means,
You say I deserve what I haven't got
But you're just being kind,
If only I could make approaches
Without being seen.

At least you're not offended when I
Tell you I love you,
Maybe you think I say that sort
Of thing a lot,
I have an idea of what I'm
Supposed to do,
But there are too many skills
I haven't got.

I know you thought I said I wouldn't leave,
But that was only my spokesman,
I'd really like the strength to believe,
But so much has been broken.

It's not as if I'm all you have left,
Be honest it was only a game,
I still think it is for the best,
Before you think the same.

I need to know how you feel about me,
I don't trust my own judgement,
How many of my hints did you actually see?
And what do you think they meant?

How intense do you find all this?
Why do you pretend you're easily hurt?
How much would you actually miss?
How do you wash away all the dirt?

What do you do?
What do you say?
When you haven't a clue?
When it's the same every day?

Remove tear band,
Line up steps,
Lift up,
You can guess the rest.

You can't tell people how you feel 'till
They trust you,
And you can only gain their trust by
Lying to them,
Even though they don't expect what
You say to be true,
They play by the rules and say the
Same shit back again.

I don't know why my idea of you
Is playing on my mind,
Maybe it's only good old
Fashioned jealousy,
If we did get together what
Could I expect to find?
And what solutions would I be able
To see?

Do it as a favour,
Just keep me alive,
I only want one saviour,
Then I'll get back my pride.

I'd still love you if I was normal,
And spend my weekends with you,
I wish I was less informal,
But I don't know what else to do.

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